Unrelenting Urine Busters

Last in a series

M. Scott Peck began his seminal book, The Road Less Traveled, with “Life is difficult.” Old Scott was right. Daisy, itchy to the point of agitation, felt trapped indoors whenever that arrogant racoon violated her yard, leading her to treat her affable roomie Astro like a feline punching bag. He, in turn, communicated his angst by spraying urine, the feline version of ‘talking it out.’ The humans in this political nightmare had assumed that their sofa soaker was their only problem pet. They finally understood that everybody’s life was difficult.

Claritin reduced Daisy’s urge to crawl out of her skin while the Reconcile improved her anxiety. But that stinking pork-face varmint remained a burr under her saddle. Territorial by nature, she perched on the sill of her screened-in porch, smoldering over the neighborhood’s lax immigration policy.

Sure, racoons have rights, like raiding trash cans for the remains of yesterday’s duck confit, but Lloyd’s and Connie’s attitude about undomesticated vagabonds was NIMBY (not in my backyard). The ungrateful vagrant was summarily shipped off to parts unknown by the local humane critter trapper.

Astro the urine perpetrator had a shot at becoming a better citizen but only if Daisy stopped slapping him around. As her skin and her attitude improved her violent tendencies diminished. She actually became peaceful, almost like a feline Ghandi. Astro, for his part, reacquainted himself with the big clean litter pans.

I cautioned Lloyd and Connie against spiking the ball in celebration. Even the faint scent of old urine could trigger a relapse. I assigned the task of monitoring the nooks and crannies of their home, armed with an ultraviolet light, crawling commando style on their bellies to find every little dried up drop. They purchased the odor eliminator Anti Icky Poo by the gallon, misting the glowing evidence until there was nothing left.

It was the pet parents in this drama who deserve the credit. They were open to learning that members of a different species often don’t think and act the way we humans do. They never scolded, swatted, water sprayed, or surrendered anybody to a shelter. Reaching success was difficult but their empathy and kindness paid off. They also knew when to ask for help.